In March, I was chatting with some of my female neighbors. One with a fresh babe, the other with a babe on the way, and me, surviving the most high-maintenance baby of my life and that was enough. So fast forward 1.5 months later, it's Margot's first birthday party. I'm over-heating and feeling so incredibly nauseous. Then the thought crept in my mind. NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. I was going to have another baby. So what did I do? I trekked on for another week or so, then I couldn't trek on anymore. My nausea and exhaustion were winning. I dug out the 1 of 2 pregnancy tests from the previous time I took a test. I do what you're supposed to do and I wait. With Margot my test turned within seconds but this time, I was going to have to wait, and wait, and wait. What do I see? A very confusing, faint line that might mean I was pregnant. I went to Target, bought more tests and took them all. I was indeed pregnant.
The next steps were kind of a blur but I gathered my three tests and walked to the living room and threw said tests at my husband, mumbling something along the lines of "you did this to me." No judgement from you other mommas. But I WAS NOT having another baby. Except for I really was.
At the time, I had just lost my health insurance the month before and was having issues attaining it again. It wasn't until 14 weeks that I found a clinic to do an ultrasound. Thank God for funded affordable clinics! I wanted to make sure that everything was OK more or less. That's when I saw the little babe for the 1st time. By this time, the babe wasn't a blob or a bean. I could see head, toes, fingers, and SO much movement. The woman asked me if I could feel it and I spouted of some scientific well you don't feel the baby until x number of weeks, so no. I realized later that I really was feeling those movements. Sometimes it takes an ultrasound of your belly to get perspective that life was happening and things were going to change and adapt again.
So there you have it, welcoming baby in December. A phrase I never thought I'd say.